


Pack Rat

by canadino



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 13:14:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7173197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadino/pseuds/canadino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Straw Hats talk about the things they collect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pack Rat

“What? You’re telling me you used to collect those ghastly things?”

“Yeah. A lot of boys did it. I liked to catch them still running though; gave it more of a challenge that way.”

On the rare nights that Luffy did not overeat and steal food from surrounding plates so everyone was satiated and when Nami felt satisfied with the amount of treasure she had counted in her wares for the day, they sat around like this at the dinner table on the Thousand Sunny and talked. Conversation was kept light and simple, so that Chopper could chime in between sips of sweet milk and Luffy wouldn’t exclaim in the middle to direct the topic back to things of his interest. They tended to discuss commonalities and shared experiences so even the older contingent could participate; tonight, they were sharing their collections. 

“It’s not so surprising, Sanji,” Usopp said, his voice taking the grand quality they were all so familiar with. “I, myself, collected bugs as a boy too. Of course, I quickly graduated to catching frogs and wild boar and the occasional head wolf of the pack, which of course helped me when I was tasked with wrangling the infamous two-headed, white-spotted leopard in the inhospitable plains of…” He noticed the polite stares from around the table and even Chopper was enjoying the last bits of his vanilla pudding without a single word, and he cleared his throat. “Well, the point is, I understand collecting bugs. There are a bunch of different kinds and they all have unique colorings and shapes, so it was fun to see what types you lived around. I liked to find them dead; I didn’t feel so bad adding them to my collection if I didn’t have to kill them to do so.” Zoro did not comment; difference in morals had not gotten in the way of them becoming nakama and it was not going to start. 

“Sure,” Sanji said, although his tone was more conciliatory than really understanding. For someone who usually walked around the kitchen and the table serving others and preparing food, he spoke with his hands when he was sitting. His fingers flew in the air in an attempt to help illustrate his general disbelief. “But...bugs? Of all things.”

“Did you have a bad experience with bugs?” Nami asked. “I hate them because they’ve got an unnecessary amount of legs and move funny, but I feel like boys don’t care about that kind of thing, at least most of the boys I’ve met.”

“Pests are a cook’s worst nightmare,” Sanji said, his indignation on the subject more powerful than his tendency to woo the female members of the crew through asking if they’d like more tea or coffee or whether they’d like him to make them a cake or if they were having a good day. “So anything like that...roaches, ants, rats - I just have an adverse reaction to them in any circumstance.” He shuddered, a full body reaction with the right amount of theatrics that matched his character. 

“What did you collect then?” Usopp asked. “Anything?”

“Pretty women’s hearts,” Sanji purred, so that Zoro, who had been looking at him as he talked rolled his eyes and went back to swirling the liquor in his cup. “Beyond that, the Baratie was only so large so there wasn’t really much for me to really discover after a while. Sometimes people forgot their belongings and didn’t bother to return for them, so I remember being given a pair of gold cufflinks and a nice pen because no one else wanted them. I don’t know if that counts as collecting anything. Oh, I know!” He snapped his fingers, which had been drumming on the tabletop. “I did ‘collect’ nice cuts of fish. Both from the market and the ones I fished up. By collect, I owned them for a bit and prepared them, so I didn’t really hold onto them for that long but I did remember the kinds I worked with and I was always looking for new ones.”

Luffy nodded knowingly. “I understand that, Sanji,” he declared. “I collect cuts of meat myself.”

“Eating doesn’t count, rubber man.”

“What did you collect, Nami?” Chopper chirped. 

“Gold,” Nami said, grinning. “I’m still collecting, really!” She ignored the rude comment Zoro muttered under his breath, which he received a blow to the head from Sanji for. “But if we’re talking about things you guys didn’t know already...when I was still actively thieving, I liked to take extraneous pieces of silverware for myself. The rich make utensils for the smallest things and they’re usually decorated with fancy engravings and designs. I had a lot of small tea spoons and hors d’oeuvres forks and tea strainers. They don’t really melt down for as much metal as actual silverware but they’re pretty to look at.”

“A woman after my own heart,” Sanji sighed, which Nami ignored as well. 

“What about you, Chopper?” she asked, returning the question. 

Chopper scraped the bottom of the ramekin for the last bits of pudding. “I didn’t really get humans collecting things until recently,” he said. “I didn’t collect things when I was still on Drum Island. There were some pretty snowflakes but they melted really quick. But right now I’m collecting cool jars! It’s more fun to store things in different looking jars than having all of them look the same. That’s why I’ve been asking Sanji to save some of the jam jars and bottles once he’s done using them.” 

“I’ll give you some of mine,” Franky offered. “I used to keep my nuts and bolts in them but I think I’m just going to make an extra component so I can carry them on my person at all times. But hmm...do you think it’ll be distracting if I’m rattling as I move? Maybe I should create separate compartments for all of them.” 

“You’d have to create a whole new extension of your body if you do that,” Robin said. “You collect them like Zoro collected bugs, and you’re always keeping the ones you find on the ground.” 

“Aren’t they all the same?” Luffy asked. “They’re used to connect things and you’ve already got a bunch that you brought onboard.” He blinked as Usopp and Franky gave him matching critical expressions.

“They aren’t ‘all the same’,” Usopp admonished. “They take different shapes based on what they’re used for. Not to mention different lengths and materials for different purposes. You can use alternatives in a pinch but it won’t be as sturdy.” He looked to Franky for support; after all, he was more of a tinker than a professional handyman and manufacturer. 

“Usopp’s right...but I just collect them because they look cool.” Franky laughed as Usopp swallowed a despairing wail for having essentially scolded their captain on his own. “And it’s interesting to me to see what kind of lives they’ve had. I can tell the type of tool used and its wear based on the scratches and stuff on them. Helps me figure out what kinds of things my own construction might come up against and how to make them better.” 

“That totally makes sense,” Nami said. “And I bet I can guess what Robin and Brooke collect; Robin collects books and manuscripts and Brooke collects musical instruments. Because based on hearing what everyone has said so far, what they collect is closely related to what they like.” 

Robin and Brooke turned to each other. “You’re not wrong,” Robin said slowly. “Although I don’t think I would call me buying books to be a collection. I derive use from them so it’s not like I would go out and find manuscripts just because of what they are.”

“I collect panties!” Brooke offered. His jaw clattered as he laughed. 

“Then what do you guys collect?” Luffy asked. 

They looked at each other again, wordlessly giving the other the go ahead to speak. “I like collecting bones,” Robin said finally. “Specifically, pelvic bones. If I see an interesting animal, I’d like to see what kind of bones are under its skin and flesh, to see how they work.” Brooke let out a cry and covered himself with his arms like an exposed maiden. “I won’t collect your bones, though,” Robin chuckled. “I already know what a human pelvis looks like.” 

“My collection is less scary!” Brooke insisted. “I collect hair. You see, I have a thick expanse of hair myself, so when I see other people with an impressive head of hair, I would like a lock myself. Once, my crew and I stopped at an island where the natives made accessories out of the hair of their dead as a way of paying homage! I like to think I pay homage to the people I take hair from.” 

“Forget I asked,” Nami said, her hand coming up to her own head with slight concern. 

“Those are all more normal than insects,” Sanji said, frowning at Zoro. “See? Of all the things you could have decided to hoard. If you’d said swords, I’d still think you were a muscle-brained idiot but it would make sense.”

“Joke’s on you, idiot cook; the brain is a muscle. Right, Chopper?”

“Wait!” Luffy wailed. “You guys didn’t ask what I collect! Why did you forget _me_ , your captain?”

“You said you collect meat,” Chopper said. 

“Yeah, but that’s not _all_.” Luffy puffed out his chest, quite literally - he took a breath and his chest literally expanded, pushing him slightly away from the table as he puffed with pride. “I collect strong, interesting, and important people! I collect very valuable nakama, you know!”

“How embarrassing,” Nami groaned, her embarrassment mirrored in Chopper as the reindeer clapped his hooves together and squirmed and mumbled rude names at Luffy while giggling. Luffy laughed too, shrinking down to normal again, and asked Sanji if he could have their post-dinner snack yet. As they cleared the table, Franky and Usopp to their respective work spaces to finish as much of their current projects before bed and Nami, Robin, and Brooke to the lounge, Zoro came up to Sanji.

“I hear what you said about collecting bugs,” he started.

“Good. Think about it and how you can grow from here on out.”

Zoro reached into his haramaki and pulled something out into his hand. Sanji made a face. “Well, anyway, I thought this would change your mind.” He took Sanji’s hand and pressed the thing into his hand. Sanji’s face contorted a little more at the thought of having something that had been pressed against Zoro’s skin into his hand. He looked down at the gift. It was a shiny, dead beetle. 

“Isn’t it cool?” Zoro asked. “Look at its shell. And it’s dead, so you don’t need to worry about it eating the food you cook.” 

Sanji bristled until he grew about an inch more from his hair standing on end and his skin crawling. “I said, you should think about it and how you can grow from here on out, you inconsiderate bastard!” He threw the bug at Zoro’s face, shaking his hand for good measure to get the bug germs away from him as Zoro caught the bug in his hand. He stormed out to the kitchen, grumbling about bug spray and poison traps.

Luffy draped his long, dangling limbs around Zoro. “You gonna eat that?” he asked.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
